Hit And Run
by CierraLuv97
Summary: Because in order to be a ghost, you have to have once been a person. Just a small history about a young girl, a used guitar, and the way it wasn't her fault
1. For The Love Of A Daughter

_Hi, everyone! So, this is my first Danny Phantom fanfiction. Me and my little brother had a Danny Phantom marathon last week, and I totally fell in love with the series again (and can I just say: if he was a real person, wouldn't he be a sexy beast). Especially Danny - see previous note. But this story isn't about Danny. This is about Ember, who was all of a sudden an intriguing character. Her story came to me in the shower. I'm not kidding.__ Anyway, this is going to be a collection of snapshots of Ember's life, and like an old photo album, it's hopefully just going to keep building and building. I'm like 75% done with writing it, and will hopefully finish the rest. So, here it is!  
_

__**Hit And Run**

**_A Small Story About Ember__ McLain_  
**

* * *

**For The Love Of A Daughter  
**

_"Oh, father_

_Please, father  
_

_I'd love to leave you alone  
_

_But I can't let you go"  
_

_Demi Lovato  
_

Ember was eight when she first discovered the old guitar – thrown in the attic like an old photo album, left to die and collect dust. She picked it up gently and took in its written on, scratched wooden surface. It was an acoustic guitar, like the ones she saw in the romantic movies her older sister Fawn loved to watch. It was delicate and strong and hollow and full and _awesome_.

But when Ember tugged it downstairs to proudly show her family, the reaction was not what she expected. "Mom!" she called as she trudged down the stairs, guitar in arms. "I found this in the attic and I really want to play, it's so cool! Can I take lessons?"

Her mother's smile faded away as she looked up from the carrots she was chopping, her face freezing. Fawn, who was twelve, shot an angry glance at Ember that seemed to say, "Now, look what you've done?" Even her Uncle Harley, who was normally way cool to Ember and gave her lollipops, seemed to be disappointed.

That was a bad day. Ember, even years later, remembered bursting into tears when Fawn furiously told her to quit nosing around and to stay out of the attic, and why did she always have to be such a nuisance and she was the mistake child…

Uncle Harley told Fawn to can it, and gently took Ember upstairs to have a 'talk' with her while her mother silently succumbed to tears in the kitchen. Ember fidgeted nervously as she followed Uncle Harley, knowing how having a 'talk' with someone was never good.

"Ember," said Uncle Harley as he sat Ember down on her bed. "You know the attic is off limits. You could have gotten a splinter."

"Is that why my mom started crying?" asked Ember, still wary. "Because she was scared?" Moms always cried when they were scared.

"Sort of," admitted Uncle Harley. "The guitar used to be your dad's."

Ember glanced up from her knees, her interest piqued. "Why did he forget it here?" No one ever talked about her dad. She'd never met him, and when she was little, she was convinced that he had been a superhero. But besides her dreams, she really didn't know who he was or what he looked like.

"I dunno, kid," shrugged Uncle Harley, looking angry. Even when he was angry, he still looked just like Ember's mom, who was his twin sister and never got angry. Just sad.

"He must be coming back for it!" exclaimed Ember, suddenly ecstatic. Here it was – the proof that not only was her dad a real person, but that he would come to see her sometime.

Uncle Harley made a strange face that Ember didn't know the name for. "No, Ember –"

"He is!" she insisted. "He's coming back!" She clambered over Uncle Harley and laughed and stood on her bed and pretended she was a rock star. All the while not noticing how Uncle Harley seemed to be getting more and more tired.


	2. Independence

**Independence**

_"I've been kicking  
_

_I've been scheming  
_

_But this is as close as I've ever been to leaving  
_

_Five blocks away, a stone's throw from home"  
_

_The Band Perry  
_

Ember was twelve when she first sang in front of people; the day, from then on, was associated with rebellion and nausea. She'd hoped to forget about it, but her so called best friend brought it up later in front of everyone she knew. It was the first day of seventh grade music, and their music teacher, an old bat named Mrs Toal (one letter away from 'toad'), was asking the class in a sugary sweet voice what they all did that summer.

"This is so stupid," murmured Ember to her best friend, a wiry boy named Tommy Payne. Tommy had red hair and freckles and wore glasses and had braces. They'd been best friends since _before _preschool, and while Ember hated the way everyone seemed to look at her when she hung out with him, and although sometimes she felt uncomfortable as he ranted animatedly about Star Wars and video games, he was her best friend. What could she do?

"It's not that bad," replied Tommy in a whisper, ever the optimist. Ember had stopped being an optimist when she was nine, deciding that it was far more cool and grown-up to be negative. That was her new thing – being grown-up. She was really, really good at it. She wore make-up and cool clothes and she snapped at her mother and giggled after boys.

After all, why shouldn't she be grown-up? She knew way more than she used to back when she was little. She knew that Uncle Harley and Aunt Stephanie had sex before they got married and that was a big deal (she was fuzzy on what sex actually was, but she knew it was messy and it usually resulted in babies), she knew that the Easter bunny didn't exist, she knew exactly how to annoy Fawn and what was needed to make her mom smile. She'd even figured out what her dad's name was. Rex Gonzalez. And while he hadn't stayed long, he'd _named _both Ember and her sister (but mostly Ember). She knew he'd never been really married to her mom, but he'd obviously loved her enough to have two children.

"Stop being such a loser," hissed Ember back. "It is _too _bad, and you know it."

"Yeah, well –"

"Miss McLain, Mr Payne." Mrs Toal's rickety old voice interrupted their supposedly silent conversation. "Care to tell us what you did this summer?"

Normally, Ember liked to answer her teachers' questions (just because she was grown-up didn't mean she was automatically stupid). This class was such a joke, however, so she stayed silent. Tommy, however, caved under the pressure. "Ember sang at her uncle's wedding." She glared at him.

"Oh, how wonderful!" sighed Mrs Toal.

"It wasn't that big of a deal," muttered Ember, her face turning red. A few kids snickered.

It got worse. Mrs Toal puckered her lips saccharinely. "Would you like to sing for us, Ember? As a treat?"

Ember stared. _Note to self: destroy Thomas Elmo Payne later_, she thought grimly as Mrs Toal all but yanked her out of her seat and up to the front of the class. Everyone looked bored, except for Tommy, who grinned at her enthusiastically. _You're dead_, she mouthed furiously.

"Today I'll be singing 'Can't Hurry Love' by Diana Ross and the Supremes," said Ember in a flat voice. It wasn't the stage fright that was making her pissed (grown up word) at this class. Ember wasn't the kind of person to scare easily. Mostly it was just the fact that, with Tommy as her best friend, she was already as far from popular as one could get, and she really didn't feel like being laughed at for the rest of the seventh grade. Reluctantly, she began to sing.

_I need love, love_

_ To ease my mind_

_ I need to find, find_

_ Someone to call mine_

_ But mama said_

She was dimly aware of the snickers and whispering slowly dying, although she wasn't really concentrating on that. Using advice that her mother had given her a while ago, she stared at a point on the brick wall, waiting until the song was over to blink and glance away, taking in the class. Their expressions ranged from mildly surprised to amazed. Tommy, of course, looked ready to wet himself with enthusiasm.

Ember made herself look appropriately embarrassed when Mrs Toal squealed, "Excellent, Miss McLain, you have an excellent voice!" and she made sure to look appropriately sexy when Ross Cooper, the second cutest boy in their grade, smiled at her. When she sat down next to Tommy, it took no effort at all to be appropriately smug.


	3. Long Live

**Long Live**

_"You held your head like a hero_

_On a history book page_

_It was the end of a decade_

_But the start of an age"_

_Taylor Swift  
_

A week later, she was approached by Gillian Cabot. Gillian wasn't just older than Ember; she was a _ninth _grader. As in, from the high school down the street. When ninth graders willingly talked to you, well – it was something special.

Ember was sitting outside with Tommy during lunch, purposely ignoring his Darth Vader lunch box (if she didn't see it, it didn't exist), when he looked up and gasped, choking on peanut butter.

"Em – there's a _high schooler _walking over here. Em, what do we do?" he said, his lips barely moving, his eyes locked on someone approaching.

Ember glanced over her shoulder, flipping her blonde hair as she went. A tall, dark haired girl with a black leather jacket was indeed walking towards them, turning heads as she went.

"So," she said as she approached, sitting down next to Ember like it was the most natural thing in the whole world. "You're the girl with the voice."

Ember blinked, unsure of what to say and how to say it so it sounded cool. Eventually, she went with, "What?"

"You're Ember McLain, right? My brother, James, is in your music class. He told me how you sang the Supremes for them."

"Well, yeah," shrugged Ember, not sure of what else to say. Her mind was reeling – this had to be _the _Gillian Cabot, rebellious punk guitar player of Casper High School, known around Amity Park for the time she told the principal to 'eff off'. She was legend. More than that, she was not only in high school, but a _sophomore_.

"He says you have a good voice," went on Gillian.

"Good?"

"Like, incredible. He was ranting." Gillian suddenly seemed to notice Tommy. "Who are you?" Tommy's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"He's my friend," said Ember quickly, shooting Tommy a look that said_ be cool and try not to screw this up for me_.

"I'm her _best _friend," added Tommy pointedly. Ember rolled her eyes but didn't comment.

"Nice to meet you, Her Best Friend," said Gillian, but she sounded as if she'd forgotten about him already. She turned back to Ember, who resisted the urge to squirm under her eye liner stare. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you, Ember McLain."

"Go for it," said Ember boldly. She silently gave herself major props – _go for it _was such a chill thing to say.

"My band is looking for another back-up singer. Our lead singer is David Furton, and his brother John is back-up, and he's cool, but we want someone who can actually sing the high notes – we'd have way sicker harmonies if we had someone like you."

Ember stared. She knew it was totally ungrown-up, but she couldn't help it. Herself, Ember Leigh McLain, in an actually existing band? Already, her thoughts were racing ahead of her – herself and four other, cool, rebel punks like Gillian performing, the band recording a CD, posters up on the walls of millions of rooms in America, and the world. Madison Square Garden…

"But you haven't heard me sing," she found herself saying. Ember cursed internally. _Idiot!_

Gillian didn't appear fazed by this. "We're having rehearsal tomorrow at six, my house. If the band likes you, you're in." She pulled a CD out of her leather jacket pocket. "We're going to be running a song we're performing at a party on Tuesday. I put the harmony on this CD. Listen, learn, love it." Gillian stood up, running a hand through her tangled dark hair. "My place at six, remember that." And with that and a nod at a terrified Tommy, she left, striding across the grass like she owned the world.

"You're not seriously going to do it, are you?" demanded Tommy as soon as Gillian had started to walk away, ignoring the fact that she was still in earshot.

"Of course I am," said Ember loudly. More quietly, she added, "They're performing at a _party_, Tommy. I bet it's a high school party. How many kids can say they've been to an actual high school party? I'll go down in history."

"Yeah, as the victim of a tragic incident where scary thugs ganged up on you and beat you to death with drumsticks."

Ember bit back a smile for Tommy's sake, knowing he was serious. "I'll be fine, Tommy. Trust me." Smiling now, she nudged his Star Was lunch box. "The force is strong in this one, I can feel it."

Even Tommy couldn't help but laugh.

**Well, what does everyone think so far? Please tell me what you think - I feel good about it so far, but I won't know really unless you review! Thanks!**

**~ Cierra  
**


	4. Fame

**Fame**

_"I'm gonna live forever_

_I'm gonna learn how to fly  
_

_I feel it coming together  
_

_People will see me and cry"  
_

_from Fame  
_

From then on, Ember no longer thought of herself as just Ember. Now, she was Ember McLain of Hit And Run, the new rock/alternative sensation that was sweeping the nation. Better hurry to buy tickets to her concert, folks, because she's only going up from here. There's no backing down now.

Of course, in reality she was just "The Tiny Blonde Girl In The Background Who Whales Her Harmonies", or at least that was what Dave Furton called her. It was true that she was still under five feet, and she was blonde, and she stood in the background with Johnny Furton, who was a freshman and the other back-up. It was also true that for the first couple band rehearsals, her loud voice would overpower Dave's until she finally wrapped her mind around the concept of _back-up singer_.

But other than that, Ember loved Hit And Run. Before she went to sleep, she'd go down a mental checklist of everyone in the band and their instrument, smiling to herself at how professional she could make them sound. It went something like this;

Dave Furton – lead vocalist and guitar player, eleventh grade

Alfie Rogers – drummer, twelfth grade

Gillian Cabot – bass guitar player, tenth grade

Yanika Hutcherson – piano player, tenth grade

Johnny Furton – accompanying vocalist, ninth grade,

Ember McLain – accompanying vocalist and guitar player, seventh grade

She was always felt very accomplished and self-satisfied when she was telling Tommy about something funny Dave said, or how Alfie showed her a basic beat on his drums. And, although it was kind of ironic, she also thought it was incredibly cool that she was the youngest in the band. It was like saying that she could do what everyone else had to wait all the way until high school to do, like go to high school parties (they were kind of scary) or have a sip of beer from a guy's cup (she'd pretended to like it, then spit it out when Johnny wasn't looking). It was a statement of how grown-up she is.

Her mother hated it, of course. "You're wasting all your time on that group of delinquints when you could be doing homework!" she'd say. But Ember just ignored her. Her mother wasn't very grown-up most of the time. It was pretty sad.

Instead of their mother, Ember made Fawn drive her to band rehearsals. Fawn wasn't too happy about it, either, but she had been in love with Dave Furton since sixth grade. Not only did she like seeing him every Wednesday and Saturday, but Ember had threatened to tell Dave unless Fawn drove her. Blackmail was good like that.

Then Fawn would sit on a wooden chair in the corner of Gillian's garage (she always refused to leave for the first fifteen minutes) while Ember laughed and joked with all the older kids whom even Little Miss Perfect Junior Fawn was nervous to talk to. Her best friends were Alfie and Yanika. Alfie was a massive bear of a guy who was actually a teddy bear, and had a particular soft spot for Ember. In Ember's mind, he was the older brother she'd always wanted. Yanika was quiet and absolutely gorgeous, with dark skin and even darker hair. She was the older sister that Ember had always wanted.

And then, once Fawn had reluctantly left, only to drive circles around the block in her beat up Ford, they'd play. The music was absolutely the best Ember had ever heard. Sometimes, it was loud and energetic, and sometimes it was quiet and 'shivery', as Yanika called it. There was one song, "Bitten Off Nails", that was especially scary. Ember played it for Tommy one time, and Mrs Payne had called her house later that night, reprimanding her for frightening her son.

Ember's favourite performance was the one where Dave had laryngitis and couldn't perform. Gillian had handed her the microphone. "You're up, Ember McLain. It's your night."

"Shouldn't I sing it?" Johnny had asked, his droopy eyes sparking dangerously. "I mean, it's usually sung by a dude."

"Well, then Ember McLain will just have to wing it," said Gillian. Her voice was casual but her jaw was set. Johnny only nodded. When Gillian decided something, everyone listened.

That night, Ember stumbled through the lyrics for "No Game" and hit a wrong note in "Won't Do The Same." Her voice cracked embarresingly in "Final Lullaby."

That night, Ember brought the house down.


	5. Hey Jude

**Hey Jude**

_"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain_

_Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
_

_For well, you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
_

_By making his world a little colder"  
_

_The Beatles  
_

It was late at night in July, and Ember was sitting at the kitchen table, reading. Her mother had gone to sleep earlier, and Fawn was out with some friends. Instead of being unnerved by the silence and loneliness of the house, Ember was relishing in it. It was a nice change not to have to sound like a perfect, Mini Fawn when her mother talked to her, and it was nice to not have to listen to Fawn and Uncle Harley jabber on about how she hadn't seen Tommy in a while and why doesn't she invite him over?

The problem with that was that there wasn't _time _for Tommy anymore. The band now met four days a week, and when she wasn't with the band, she was practicing her harmonies or the guitar (she played guitar for the band whenever Dave couldn't make it). And sometimes Yanika would let her tag along when she went to the movies with her friends (they all found Ember to be 'absolutely adorable), or Alfie would invite her to come with him and a few other people to a baseball game. Alfie was going to college in New York when September came, and she was trying to hang out with him as much as possible until he left.

She still _saw_ Tommy, but he wouldn't talk about Star Wars anymore, and she realized that, without Star Wars, what were they supposed to talk about? In short, she was ready for their friendship to be over.

The screen door slammed shut, and Ember looked up from _Tomorrow, When The War Began_. Fawn was back - sort of. Her sweater was rumpled and torn, and her perfect strawberry blonde braid was non-existent. Her hair hung loose, the thick curls all messed up.

"Where happened to you?" asked Ember.

"None of your business," snapped Fawn. She'd always been totally weird, but over the past couple of months, it seemed to Ember that Fawn was _constantly _in the middle of PMS. It was extremely annoying.

"Tell me, I won't tell Mom," said Ember. She hopped up from her chair, glancing at the clock as she did so. It was eleven thirty-nine "Where did you go? Was it a date? Who were you with?"

"Just _leave me alone_!" yelled Fawn. Ember jumped, swallowing heavily. She was fully expecting her mother to wake up, but quickly dispelled the idea. Aunt Stephanie had come over, and she and Ember's mom had gotten so drunk it was embarrassing. If the entire house blew up, her mom wouldn't wake up. Ember tried not to let it bother her.

Fawn ran a hand through her hair. "Do – do we have anything to drink?" she asked.

"Mom said she was going to get milk in the morning," said Ember, watching her sister carefully. "But I don't think she'll remember, so you'll probably have to."

"I don't want milk," said Fawn quietly, pointedly. Ember swallowed heavily, clenching a fist. Her sister could do whatever the hell she wanted when she was with her friends – if she wanted to screw up her life, that's her issue, not Ember's – but there was no way Ember was going to hand Fawn a beer and let her mess up in their own kitchen.

After a few moments, Fawn sighed. "Fine, I'll just have water. Will you get me a glass?"

"You're sixteen, not six," said Ember. But she went to get it anyway, just for something to do. As she walked by Fawn, she wrinkled her nose in disgust. "What is – Fawn, have you been _smoking_?"

Fawn stared at her. "No! Of course not. _I _would never smoke."

"And I would?" Ember raised an eyebrow. She didn't like the stuff her sister was implying. First of all, Ember was never ever going to smoke because not only would it turn her into something she swore she'd never be, but Gillian had made her swear not to. "You've got something special, Ember," Gill had said. "Don't screw it up." It was the only time Gillian hadn't called Ember by her full name.

And now she was trying to blame Ember for her idiocy, for the way she was throwing life around like it was a toy. Forget this.

"No, not – I just… where's my water?" said Fawn impatiently.

"Get your own damn water," said Ember. She walked out of the kitchen and she didn't look back.


	6. Our Town

**Our Town**

_"Times goes by, time brings changes, you change too_

_Nothing comes that you can't handle, so on you go  
_

_You never see it coming when the world caves in you  
_

_On your town  
_

_Nothing you can do"  
_

_James Taylor  
_

A year later, Ember had all but forgotten the incident. After all, so much had changed. She was going into her freshman year of high school, which she was completely pumped for. Unlike the losers in her grade who were shaking in their boots, terrified of upperclassmen and wedgies and a flight of stairs, she was completely confident. After all, her best friends were seniors and juniors and a sophomore – in _college_.

And she'd been right almost two years ago when she'd told Tommy she'd go down in history. It was like she was a _goddess_. People whispered about her and came up to her when she was hanging out with the band and told her things like "Ember, you've got an incredible voice" or "Ember, my brother is totally in love with you – will you sign my head?"

Okay, so they didn't actually say things like _that_. But Ember knew it was what they were thinking. And people did seem awed by the fact that she was already in a high school band. And everyone thought that she had a free Get Out of Jail card because of her older, cooler, superior friends. Which was pretty much true.

And it was about to get a whole lot more cool and superior, because Dave Furton was leaving for college that summer, and Gillian had asked Ember to take over his position as lead singer.

"What?" Ember had stuttered when Gillian first told her. If she had been thinking clearly, she would've noticed the strong feeling of déjà vu creeping through her mind. It was just like the first time Gillian had ever spoken to her. Except, it wasn't at all like that first time. Everything had changed. Even the band. Everything except Ember.

"Come on, do we have to go through this routine?" said Gillian impatiently, clearly thinking of the same thing as Ember. "You're the obvious choice for the job, Ember McLain."

"But…" Ember trailed off, too many thoughts running through her head. Of course, she'd always dreamed about this day (her getting to sing into the lead mic every night, not Dave leaving), but she hadn't actually considered it happening. She'd always assumed Gillian would take Dave's spot. After all, it was Gillian's band; she'd came up with the idea when she was in seventh grade, she'd named the band, and she'd recruited everyone. It was her baby, and everyone was always telling Gillian to take the mic, since she actually had a really good voice. "I thought you were going to take Dave's pos-"

"Yeah, no. I don't sing. Not in public," she added when Ember opened her mouth to protest. "It freaks me out."

"But – wait," Ember stared at her hero, the girl she'd admired since day one."You? You get stage fright? How is that possible?"

"It's not something I'm proud of," said Gillian uncomfortably. It was the first time Ember had ever seen her not totally in control of everything. "I gave a bad performance when I was still singing in those prissy recitals at my mom's piano studio and I haven't been able to sing since."

"Oh," murmured Ember. Then, because she knew Gillian would laugh, "Well, that sucks."

She was right. Gillian rolled her eyes, which meant she thought it was funny but didn't care enough to laugh. "Yeah well, that's life. But enough of my mental problems. Will you do it?"

Ember pursed her lips. "Johnny is going to be mad," she said eventually. It was a yes.

**Please, tell me what you think! I have definite direction I'm going in this, but I want to know what you guys !  
**

**~ Cierra  
**


	7. Without You: Part 1

**Without You**

_"The mind churns  
_

_The heart yearns  
_

_The tears dry  
_

_Without you"_

In late November, Ember was sitting on her front steps, biting her lip as she struggled with the chords for "Jane". It was, so far, the most difficult song she'd had to learn how to play for Hit And Run. Try as she might, she was only about thirty seconds into the song. She should've known that 'lead singer' just meant buttloads of more work. Of course, she could just sing it while Johnny played the damn song, but her pride wouldn't let her do that. She _had _to learn how to play this, or she would die. Metaphorically, anyway.

"Hey, Emberly," a voice came from over her shoulder. Ember flashed a brief smile at Uncle Harley, who was standing behind her, before turning back to her guitar. "How's it hanging?"

"Pretty good," said Ember, playing D minor as she glanced back at the guitar tab Gillian had scrawled on a napkin during lunch today. "Next… a F. Hate F."

"So, the band's going well?" prompted Uncle Harley, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah," said Ember. "It's not really the same without Alfie, though, or Dave. Jason's really cool, but…" She shrugged, trailing off.

"I catch your drift," said Uncle Harley wisely, nodding. Ember bit back a smile – her uncle was constantly trying to use 'modern lingo' with sometimes frightening results. This time, he'd been mildly successful, but... well, there were some incidents that Ember had made Uncle Harley swear on his grave to never speak of. "But, hey, look what I brought you."

Ember looked up to see Uncle Harley holding out a colorfully wrapped lollipop. She grinned as she took it from his massive hand. "Aww, Uncle Harley! Thanks. I haven't had a lollipop in forever."

"I know, it's weird, isn't it?" sighed Uncle Harley. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a really long time, Ember."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" asked Ember warily, staring at him as she unwrapped her lollipop. It was green apple, her favorite. Was this supposed to be a bribe?

"It's not supposed to mean anything," said Uncle Harley. "I was just saying. When was this last time you and I really talked?"

Ember thought about it for a moment. "I don't know." After a moment of hesitation, she set her guitar down next to her. "Sorry. I guess I'm just used to Mom getting on my back about everything."

"Well, she worries about you," said Uncle Harley simply, defending her mother, as always.

"Because of the band," said Ember grimly. "Well, I'm never quitting, so you can tell her –"

"Ember, I didn't come out her to negotiate," interrupted Uncle Harley. "Gosh, when did you become so cynical?"

"Cynical?" she repeated.

"Distrustful."

"I'm not distrustful!" said Ember defensively. "I just know Mom way too well. She just hates me being in the band because my dad was in a band, and that's why he left her."

Uncle Harley sucked in a deep breath, like he always did when he was startled. "Ember, where did you –"

"Hear that? I heard Aunt Stephanie talking about it over the phone when I was at your house for Thanksgiving. It's true, isn't it?" Ember asked boldly, a morbid part of her wanting for him to say yes and a silly part of her begging for a no.

"I –"

"_Harley_!" Ember's mom's scream cut through their conversation like a bullet. "Harley, call 911! _Now_!"

In about three seconds, Uncle Harley was gone, bolting inside the house. Ember stayed where she was, feeling like she was made of molasses. Swallowing back the massive clump in her throat took what felt like hours, and in those hours, she heard it all, every word passing through the open doorway like a present. "Harley, hurry! Fawn – there's a bottle of some sort of drug – Harley, I think she – _Damn it, Harley, hurry_!"

Like a dream girl, like a zombie, Ember slowly pulled herself up, methodically, slowly. She dusted off her jeans before heading inside, walking to the beat of her heart. Was it going to stop? It always did in the movies. She _wished _this was like the movies, because in the movies music would be playing now and Ember wished she could play music, but she was sure she'd forgotten –

But there was no music. There was just the beating of Ember's suddenly empty heart.


	8. Without You: Conclusion

**Without You (_cont._)**

_"Life goes on_

_But I'm gone  
_

_Because I die  
_

_Without you"  
_

_from RENT  
_

A day later, Ember sat in Fawn's bedroom, biting her lip so hard she drew blood.

The truth in her sister's hospitalization lay half a foot from her hand. During the chaos of yesterday, it had been kicked aside, stepped on. The note hadn't been read until today, until Fawn asked Ember to bring her diary from her bedroom to the hospital.

_Dear Mom and Ember and Uncle Harley,_

_ I'm sorry it had to be this way. It was time. Please donate all of my clothes to the homeless shelter. And, please Mom, I want Ember's band to play "Blackbird" by The Beatles at my funeral._

_Best wishes,  
_

_Fawn  
_

Ember started to cry.

It was a freaking suicide note.

**So, what does everyone think so far? I know this chapter is really short, but it's really a part of the last chapter. Hence the same song. Speaking of which, I hope you guys are getting the little messages I throw in with each little stanza. I picked each of the songs with a certain purpose in mind. They tell a story on their own. :D  
**


	9. Somebody To Love

**Somebody To Love**

_"I gotta get out of this prison cell_

_Someday I'm gonna be free, oh  
_

_Somebody, oh somebody  
_

_Can anybody find me  
_

_Somebody to love?"  
_

_Queen  
_

"Johnny."

Ember struggled not cry as she stood stiffly behind Johnny. Lately, trying not to cry was all she ever seemed to do. Ever since The Event, she'd been like Aunt Stephanie whenever she'd been pregnant with any of her six kids. She wasn't _constantly _crying, but it was enough to make her feel uncomfortable. Ember didn't cry. It just wasn't her.

A junior girl sitting with Johnny gave Ember an ugly look. Her cheeks burned with shame. Clearing her throat, she tried again. "Johnny? Can I talk to you?"

He turned around slowly, reluctantly, giving her a long look. Again, she flushed a hideous, ugly red. "Now?"

"Um, yeah," said Ember awkwardly. She stared straight at him, concentrating very hard on not making eye contact with any of the juniors at the lunch table. After a moment, Johnny slowly stood up. If she hadn't been so confused, so _furious_, she would have been relieved.

"What's up?" he asked as he followed her to the far corner of the cafeteria.

She took a deep breath, reminding herself it would do nothing for her to kill him right now. "What's _up_?" she hissed, turning around. "What's _up_ is that you haven't even said hello to me since Kendall's party."

Johnny clearly knew what she was talking about; his pasty face darkened a shade, and he quickly became absorbed in his shoes. "I dunno what you're talking about."

She glared at him, then looked away. The sight of him was quickly become painful.

There was a very awkward pause as each of them desperately tried to think of an ending to the conversation. Because, Ember was quickly realizing, it was going to end. And with it, whatever Johnny had given her.

She, however, was never getting back what she'd given him.

Thinking about that, she gritted her teeth, her anger bubbling up inside of her like an experiment gone wrong in Biology. Her head snapped up just as her mouth opened. "You know what? I don't frickin' care. You're a loser, Johnny, and that's all your ever going to be. Waste your life with Krissy or whatever the hell her name is -"

"Kitty," he murmured under his breath.

"- but I have bigger things in mind. The band doesn't _need _you! It never did, the only reason you're in it is Dave!"

Johnny looked up, hurt and shock splattered all over his face. "Ember, I'm sorry! I just... didn't feel anything." He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she jerked away.

"Don't touch me," she snarled. For the purposes of now, she ignored the absurdity of that statement (what was one little touch compared to three weeks ago, that awful pre-Christmas week?) "It was a mistake, and that's all it's ever going to be."

Then she turned her back on him and stalked out of the corner of the cafeteria, just in time to hide her face from him as she dissolved into tears.

She wanted her virginity back.


	10. Teenage Hearts

**Teenage Hearts**

_"We are teenage hearts_

_Forever young  
_

_We think we know it all but we don't  
_

_No, we don't"  
_

_Allstar Weekend  
_

Ember sat on the grass behind the baseball field with Yanika, watching as her sister hit the softball, sending it into a perfect arc across the grass. Fawn had just gotten out of rehab a week ago, and it was like their town had changed its name to "Make Fawn Feel Good So She Doesn't Try To Jump Off A Bridge Park". Not the whole town, really, but Fawn had burst into tears, pretending to be surprised, when she'd come home to a house full of all her friends. And her old softball coach (A.K.A., Uncle Harvey) had invited her to play one last game with her team before heading off (again) for her freshman year of college.

Which explained Ember having to sit behind the tall, chain fence and pretend to be excited. She loved Fawn, she really did. But love only goes so far, and watching sport games? Not in walking distance at all.

"Fawn's doing good," said Yanika lazily. She was playing with a ladybug she'd found in the grass. "Wasn't she going to play for Northwestern University?"

"Yeah, but she probably got kicked off for being a druggie," said Ember, smirking.

Yanika shot her a look. "Ember!" she said, scandalized.

Ember shrugged. "What? It's true." Yanika let out a feminine little huff of hair.

"You _know _that Fawn couldn't help it. Depression can be hereditary, and she didn't know better and just took a wrong turn. It's not her fault," added Yanika stubbornly.

"God, when did you become my _mom_?" scoffed Ember, rolling her eyes. "Lighten up, I was making a joke." She kicked back her legs, lying on her stomach.

"I'm… _worried_ about you, Ember," said Yanika carefully, watching Ember as if she might spontaneously combust. "You know that Hit And Run… it's not going to be the same with me and Gill at college."

"I know that," snapped Ember, staring at a chink in the fence. _It's not going to be the same_ was a really loose way of saying _It's not going to happen_. Out of the original band, only Ember and Johnny were going to be left next fall. And she and Johnny didn't exactly going. After she'd yelled at him that day in the cafeteria, they'd both resumed with their usual ignoring of each other, except this time it was much more permanent.

And, of course, Gillian _had _to decide to do something with her life, so she was going to some university in Alabama for writing. Yanika was, of course, going to Yale. And, like always, Ember would be stuck back home, alone. Like always, the baby.

Well, it could be worse, Ember thought grimly. She could've been knocked up. Now, of course, she could smile to herself at how terrified she'd been, but then… She'd ended up sneaking those little pregnancy tester things from Aunt Stephanie's house and pissing on it _every night_ until she woke up like two weeks after she'd done it with Johnny, desperately needing a tampon.

"I'm going to be fine," Ember found herself saying. "Really, Yanika. I have a life, unlike some people."

"That's kind of what I'm afraid of," muttered Yanika.

"Seriously, Yanika, Chill. Out. I'm fine," she insisted, and she realised it was true. She _was_ fine.

Until Yanika and Gillian left, anyway, and Hit And Run faded into a memory.

**Sorry this took me so long! I've entered that area of the story where the chapters I've actually prewritten kind of are nonexistent. But I'll try to update more often, I swear!**

**~ Cierra  
**


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